 The wedding is only the first step. Marriages are always changing and evolving and adapting. Each change can bring partners closer together and strengthen the relationship or partners can feel pushed apart and relationship bonds can become weaker and more fragile.
Continue to invest in this relationship. Good marriages do not "just happen". They are built. You wouldn't plant a garden and then never water it, would you? Or buy a car and never change the oil? We all understand that neglecting our gardens or our cars will cause them to die. The same is true with our relationships - especially our marriage relationships. There are some very positive steps you can take to keep your relationship strong and energized.
1. Make time for one another. It is too easy to let the daily demands of life take priority over your marriage. Make an effort and choose to be together for conversation or just to have fun.
2. Respect each other. You will not always agree with your spouse, but you can respect them. This may mean allowing them to be their own person with their own hobbies, interests, and opinions.
3. Keep developing healthy communication and conflict resolution skills. Find what works in your relationship to effectively manage difficult situations while keeping your relationship healthy. We all can learn new strategies. Read, talk to successful couples, or attend a workshop. Click here to see scheduled events.
4. Encourage your partner. All too often, we forget to offer words of encouragement to our spouse. Don’t assume your partner knows that you appreciate what they do or who they are. Everyone needs to hear kind words from others, especially from their spouse.
5. If your marriage ever starts to experience problems, get help right away. The sooner the problems are addressed, the easier they are to fix. A recent study found that only 10% of couples who got divorced sought help from a professional counselor before filing for divorce, and that those who did get help had been experiencing problems in their marriages an average of six years before they sought help. If you broke your leg skiing, would you wait six years before you went to the doctor? Don't treat your marriage any worse than you would treat an injured leg.
6. Complete a marriage inventory such as "ENRICH" that will highlight the strength and growth areas of your relationship.
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